Zen and the art of dishwashing

By Jaclyn Desforges

Joshua Becker washes his family’s dishes by hand.

Not all of them, he insists. If they’ve had company over, he has no problem using the electric dishwasher. But most days, the first thing he does after a meal is collect the dishes and wash them by hand in the sink.

“It helps me see a project through from beginning to end, the project of eating a meal,” he said. “It makes me more mindful of the things that are around me.”

Most people wouldn’t think of doing a chore by hand when a machine could do it for them. But for some, doing household tasks the old-fashioned way is a stepping stone to feeling calmer, happier and more mindful in their everyday lives.

According to Elaine Dembe, Toronto-based wellness expert and author of Use the Good Dishes: Finding Joy in Everyday Life, Becker has stumbled on an important key to happiness—staying focused on the present moment. She says doing repetitive tasks can provide a much-needed mental break.

“When we’re in the past, thinking about what we should have done, what could have happened, we go on ruminations about negative things. When we’re in the future, thinking about what’s going to happen, it triggers anxiety,” she said. “Being mindful keeps us in the present and that’s where the joy and the calmness resides.”

The write way

Try out this creative writing prompt (courtesy of David Bester).

By Jacqueline Delange

For writers, nothing is more terrifying than the blank page. A simple sheet of paper seems to say, “You’re not good enough. You’re not an author.”

Sean Langley, a 37-year-old software programmer and amateur fiction writer, faced the blank page  about six months ago. He says he began to question his own writing and became discouraged.

“I pretty much blocked myself up because I was over-analysing what I was trying to put down on paper,” he said. “You’re banging your head against the page.”

Enter David Bester. The 39-year-old Toronto-area freelance writer and editor has facilitated a creative writing workshop called Start Writing since 2008. His goal is to help writers such as Langley grow by giving them a supportive environment.

The Women in Leadership Foundation helps women climb the corporate ladder

By Michael Gibbons

North America first tuned in to the television series Leave it to Beaver in 1957. Every week, people watched as June Cleaver exemplified the postwar period’s ideal woman; she doted on her family and never showed any inclination towards wanting a career of her own. Fifty-three years later, that ideal is no more, but many women still find it difficult to climb the corporate ladder.

“If we think of the traditional male-dominated society, we think of the glass ceiling that women have to face,” said Catalina Dorobeti, communications specialist at the Toronto chapter of the Women in Leadership Foundation (WIL). “On the other hand, there’s the personal life. Women have to be more involved in having children and staying home with them.”     

iMentoring: podcast offers advice across the globe

By Michael Gibbons

When it comes to issues concerning work, school or family, most people have someone they look to for advice. Karel Vredenburg is that kind of person. Except when he gives advice, tens of thousands of people listen.

The Toronto father of four records a podcast in his home called Life Habits Mentoring with Karel Vredenburg. Through his program, he provides information, insights and advice in order to help people in their day-to-day lives. He stresses the importance of forming good habits and eliminating bad ones. Topics on the 30 minute podcast have ranged from improving sleep to being more assertive.

“It’s really kind of a neat process,” Vredenburg said. “You can just make something available in iTunes and if people discover it, then they go and listen to it.”

“I’m not saying ‘Here’s the silver bullet,’” he said. “It’s sort of just down-to-earth, practical advice. It’s like talking to a friend.”

An attitude of gratitude

As a drug-addicted teenager, McKenzie Black didn't think she had much to be grateful for.

"I was really self-centred. I didn't care about anybody else. I ruined my physical health and my mental health. I did anything I had to do to get drugs. And that was it, that was my life," she said. "Drugs."

She started drinking alcohol at age 12 and first used drugs at age 13. She found herself in rehab at age 15, but didn't get clean until she discovered Narcotics Anonymous-- and gratitude journaling. As part of the program, she lists the things she's grateful for every night.

"One of the things I write on a regular basis is that I'm grateful for the ability to feel grateful," she said. "That's something I never had."

More and more, people such as Black are discovering that gratitude journaling can help them face challenges in their lives and stay focused on the positive. According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, expressing gratitude helps people become happier and more satisfied with what they have.

Smooth as satin

L to R: Liz Tansey, Karen Bell, Donna Green and Ilana Waldston rehearse at Green's house.

By Michael Gibbons 

Not a lot of people are fortunate enough to live their dreams. For many, childhood aspirations take a backseat to life’s many cares and responsibilities. The Satin Dolls are an exception and they’re so happy about it they could sing.

For Donna Green, the originator of the group, that realization became crystal clear at a party. 
    

“At the end of the night, a bunch of women were hanging out in the kitchen, drinking wine. Four or five of them were lamenting: ‘As soon as I retire, as soon as my kids are gone, as soon as I have time…’ All these fantasies, if they had the time, if they had the energy, the will, the desire to go on and do these things they’ve always wanted to do,” Green said. “The Satin Dolls have gone and done that. We’ve pursued a dream that women talk about doing.”

Pruning your life: A chat with Elaine Dembe

By Jaclyn Desforges

You know the drill: You've just finished dinner and it's time to wash the dishes. Or more likely, you finished dinner 12 hours ago and have only recently worked up the courage to face the sink. You know they've got to get done, but the thought of standing there battling caked-on food and greasy pots and pans just isn't how you'd like to spend your time.

Does this scenario sound like the path to happiness? With a change of perspective, it can be. For my fifth and final beat story, I'm speaking to people who are finding joy in the mundane and becoming more mindful by doing seemingly mindless tasks-- including one man who has chosen to stop using his electric dishwasher in favour of his own two hands.

But it's not really about the dishes-- It's about finding joy in the little things and figuring out what aspects of your life could be made simpler. If I've learned anything over the course of writing these stories, it's that happiness comes from consciously building a life that works for you.