Pruning your life: A chat with Elaine Dembe

By Jaclyn Desforges

You know the drill: You've just finished dinner and it's time to wash the dishes. Or more likely, you finished dinner 12 hours ago and have only recently worked up the courage to face the sink. You know they've got to get done, but the thought of standing there battling caked-on food and greasy pots and pans just isn't how you'd like to spend your time.

Does this scenario sound like the path to happiness? With a change of perspective, it can be. For my fifth and final beat story, I'm speaking to people who are finding joy in the mundane and becoming more mindful by doing seemingly mindless tasks-- including one man who has chosen to stop using his electric dishwasher in favour of his own two hands.

But it's not really about the dishes-- It's about finding joy in the little things and figuring out what aspects of your life could be made simpler. If I've learned anything over the course of writing these stories, it's that happiness comes from consciously building a life that works for you.

This week I spoke with health and wellness expert Dr. Elaine Dembe. She says simplicity is the key to happiness and that we could all use a little pruning in our lives. While Joshua Becker may find that doing dishes the old-fashioned way helps him be more mindful, that might not be the case for all of us-- but we all have areas of our lives that could use a little simplicity.

Here's Dr. Dembe's advice:

There’s a template that I use for making decisions about anything... All of us need to prune or edit things that no longer fit. Whether it’s people, things, friendships, activities. And the template I use is this: I ask myself this question-- is it life-enhancing, or life-diminishing? And you can attach that template to just anything. It could be overeating, it could be that second glass of wine, it could be a person who adds absolutely nothing to the enjoyment of your life but is one of those obligatory friendships. You don’t want to be cruel or callous, but you have to protect yourself and make sure that you’re looking after your energy and not hanging out with people who are toxic or drain you... It’s a really good way to edit.