Helping mothers find their joy

By Jaclyn Desforges

A group of women sit around a table. There's a tray with tea and some homemade oatmeal cookies. The facilitator turns off the lights.

"We're going to do some basic breathing and focusing on the room," she says.

She guides the participants through a short meditation session, hoping to get their minds off stress, errands and what they're going to make for dinner. She wants to start the class off with everybody relaxed-- but the sound of children shrieking in the next room is a little distracting.

On Oct. 27, it's a typical day at the Oakville Parent Child Centre, a place where moms and dads can connect with other parents and access childcare and information. It's also the first day of Find Your Joy: An Adventure in Finding Out Who You Are, a course for mothers navigating the difficult emotions that parenthood can bring.

The facilitator is Anne Peace, a former public health nurse who now works as a life coach. Using the principles of positive psychology, she developed the class to help mothers create some space in their lives for themselves.

"It's an opportunity for moms to get together, to place feelings, experiences and events in their lives. (A place) where they can share, where they can talk about what it's like to be a mom," Peace said. "And also to move through the difficulties.”

For the moms in the class, those difficulties often centre around figuring out who they are now that they have kids -- especially if the reality of parenthood isn't quite what they expected.

The empty nest: syndrome or salvation?

By Jacqueline Delange

Last September, Ngoc Bui Gray was overwhelmed by silence.

After she dropped off her youngest and only son Anthony at the University of Michigan, she clung to the memory of a busy household.

“I miss the sounds of the washing machine... our doors continually opening and closing as our children ventured in and out,” she said. “Now it’s very quiet. No one opens the door.”

Bui Gray, a 50-year-old U.S. Postal worker in Minnesota, has joined the ranks of empty nesters – parents who experience loneliness as their children leave home. But she and her husband have quickly learned that the silence of an empty nest is a golden opportunity in disguise.

Free to roam

By Jaclyn Desforges

Centennial College professor Denise Schon didn’t flinch when her nine-year-old son, Michael, asked to walk to McDonald’s alone for breakfast on a Saturday morning.

“I didn’t like the idea of McDonald’s because it’s not very well-supervised,” she said. “But I thought, what a terrific experience for him.”

So instead of keeping Michael inside or driving him there herself, Schon handed him five dollars and sent him off to a different nearby restaurant.

Michael’s used to being allowed to roam. He has boundaries, but he can wander around his neighbourhood by himself for half an hour at a time. And he’s been gaining more and more independence lately. But he’s often the only kid playing in the streets of his Etobicoke neighbourhood.

“There’s no kids at home to knock on the door of,” Schon said.