Joshua Becker washes his family’s dishes by hand.
Not all of them, he insists. If they’ve had company over, he has no problem using the electric dishwasher. But most days, the first thing he does after a meal is collect the dishes and wash them by hand in the sink.
“It helps me see a project through from beginning to end, the project of eating a meal,” he said. “It makes me more mindful of the things that are around me.”
Most people wouldn’t think of doing a chore by hand when a machine could do it for them. But for some, doing household tasks the old-fashioned way is a stepping stone to feeling calmer, happier and more mindful in their everyday lives.
According to Elaine Dembe, Toronto-based wellness expert and author of Use the Good Dishes: Finding Joy in Everyday Life, Becker has stumbled on an important key to happiness—staying focused on the present moment. She says doing repetitive tasks can provide a much-needed mental break.
“When we’re in the past, thinking about what we should have done, what could have happened, we go on ruminations about negative things. When we’re in the future, thinking about what’s going to happen, it triggers anxiety,” she said. “Being mindful keeps us in the present and that’s where the joy and the calmness resides.”
For Becker, washing the dishes by hand is part of a larger decision to start living more simply. Since 2008, the Vermont-based father of two has written a blog (becomingminimalist.com) that chronicles his family’s journey toward owning less and enjoying life more. He says doing the dishes right after a meal is a way to clear his head. While putting them in the dishwasher may get them out of sight, they still aren’t out of mind.
“When we were using the dishwasher, maybe the dishes aren’t on the counter, but they’re still not done,” he said. “You have to go back and start it or wait for it to finish. It’s kind of a subtle change, but I’ve enjoyed it.”
According to Dembe, it’s all about slowing down—taking the time out of our busy lives to be present and aware of what’s going on around us.
“It’s the opposite of how most of us live our lives,” she said. “Technology speeds everything up.”
She recommends taking a task you would normally race through and turning it into a mindful act—for example, writing a thank-you note by hand and mailing it instead of shooting off a quick email.
Valerie Cooke is a 5th-year fine arts student at the University of Guelph. She started washing some of her clothes by hand for environmental reasons, but has started to enjoy doing it. She says using an old-fashioned washboard in the laundry room sink connects her to a calmer way of life.
“In a lot of contexts, people think it’s so much easier to just shove their clothes in the washer or drier, but it probably wouldn’t take them much more time to do it by hand,” she said. “The simplicity of doing something like that makes you feel good.”
She says washing her clothes by hand is an opportunity to take a breath and relax.
“The repetitive, monotonous gesture of it is one of those calming, soothing effects. The repetitiveness. Your mind wanders, you think about stuff. You think of things you need to do that day, or ideas you have,” she said. “You get extra time to think.”
According to Dembe, repetitive actions like washing dishes or clothes by hand leads to relaxed breathing. Because our breathing rate and depth is connected to our emotions, taking deep, slow breaths can make us physiologically calmer and more peaceful.
“It’s really the key to stress reduction,” Dembe said. “It’s a whole journey of slowing down.”
While Becker doesn’t anticipate that he’ll wash the dishes by hand forever, he appreciates the simplifying effect it’s had on his life.
“When you do things with your hands and you see the fruit of that work, there’s something really satisfying about that,” he said.
Photo by Stacy Michelle, available under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
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